We are not amused.

This one is for that lying client of ours who is pushing me ever so close to explaining to them exactly what I think of their dishonesty.  Their computers suck too!  Assholes!

Toot toot, heyyyy beep beep

I'm typing this post while on a work conference call.  One of our many Vice Presidents is droning on about Responsible Business.

Blah blah...strategy...blah blah...ethics...blah blah....opportunity...(beep beep someone drops off)

...blah blah...commitments...blah blah...innovation...blah blah...accountability...(beep beep someone drops off)

Take a few minutes to enjoy the newly posted 98 page condensed summary on this topic.

What'll I Wear

Today I asked what the dress code is for a recurring meeting I've never been to for work.

The organizer of the event replies, "Business casual. It would have been formal but my ball gown is at the cleaners. :)"

My reply, "Thank God, mine too."

Bitch!

Crazy Week Details - First Topic

I posted back around Christmas that there was a gift I've been wanting to give myself for a long time. It's something that could not be purchased or placed in a box. Don't get too excited because frankly for the near future I remain without said gift.

What is it you ask?

I've been wanting for years to quit my job.

I know, I know. I can hear your words to that now.

"Get over it."

With so many people in this world who have so little, how could I even contemplate the risk of stepping away from this security? I've known a number of people with significant education, skills and experience that have struggled in the past few years gaining employment. I certainly don't want that.

On a side note, if you are ever feeling sad for yourself, watch Central Station or Children of Heaven. Trust me when I say that feeling will go away.

St. Patrick's Day was my 14 year anniversary with the company. I've had various roles and been through two mergers. On Friday I interviewed for another position, albeit still with the same company. It is a lateral move in the organization but with a higher salary.


The interview went very well. The interviewer told me that of the 12 or so interviews they have conducted so far that I am the most qualified. So I'm taking that as a good indicator of my chances.

So my gift remains elusive but I'm anticipating good news to come. If all goes well I'll need to buy something sparkly as a replacement gift.

W is for Work

It's good to be home. This was the view from my room at the W Hotel in Minneapolis yesterday morning. Cold!!

Over the week I participated in an interesting workshop about giving presentations that focused on soft skills. Soft skills basically refers to people skills: gestures, mannerisms, friendliness, etc. One of the exercises was on how to handle objections.

Our natural and typical response to someone who objects to what we say is to become defensive. So in this exercise we had to turn to one of our peers in the room and say something to really push their buttons. They were then able to practice an appropriate response.

Unfortunately to elicit that kind of response there needs to be some grain of truth to the statement and hitting below the belt would have simply been inappropriate. So my supervisor turned to me and said "Hayward, your training sessions are too long and boring." My response was "I appreciate you sharing that with me. Could you tell me more about what makes you feel that way?"

That short statement was harder to say than I thought it would be. My mind wanted to tell her, "My training sessions aren't a variety show." But she was right, my training sessions ARE long and boring. So I'll figure out how to spice them up a bit to make them more engaging. Maybe they need a comedian and a few pet tricks thrown in for fun.

Overall it was a great workshop that gave me some very specific feedback that I can use to improve my presentation skills.

Unfortunately I had no free time this week. Evenings were spent catching up on work except for the one night that we went to the Minnesota vs. Arizona hockey game. Hockey isn't one of my favorite sports but they did supply the food and drinks since we were using the company suite. Then later that night we had cocktails back at the hotel.

I highly recommend the W Hotel if you ever need to stay in Minneapolis.

Hey...Wood!

I continuously get emails from work colleagues that address me as Howard, Edward, Haywood and others. Maybe it's a sign that everyone only skims an email because they have too many to read in a day.

I'm feeling a little like Durwood.

Is it wrong or petty to intentionally misspell their name when responding? Probably.

Update: I don't actually do that. The urge just comes over me sometimes.

The City of Lakes

This week I was in Minneapolis for work at company headquarters. The mother ship is an impressive set of towers that clearly were built in a time of abundance. Funny, maybe even scary, that today it sits fairly empty. That's a sign of the times when everyone is overworked, the economy having tanked and a move to home-based employees.

I've worked from home for about 4 years now and I miss the camaraderie of working in an office. No lunches to gossip with the girls and most importantly no finite work schedule. Just endless conference calls.

While I was there, a coworker and I hit happy hour at Azia Restaurant for cocktails and hors d'oeuvres. Fun!! Their cocktail menu is extensive and I recommend the La Femme Nikita over the Jenna Jameson.

I'm hoping I can make some time to visit Minneapolis for fun. The more I go it seems like it has lots to do and see.

We Lick Balls

I'm glad to be home!

My week in Minneapolis was filled with similar meetings as below. We did have several evening events that were great fun including a bon vivant barbecue with riparian entertainments and an iron chef competition.

The coffee is brewing and it's time to inspect my garden.

Evening Gown, Swimsuit and Talent

I work from home for a global company and my team members are located all over the world. Next month we will be meeting in Minneapolis for our yearly departmental meeting. The department consists of about 20 people and as a team building exercise someone made the decision that we should hold a talent show. Roll eyes here. To make things even more challenging we have been assigned into groups of three with members who do not typically work directly with each other. My trio includes a woman in Chicago, a fellow in Paris and me who is several hundred miles south of Chicago. So there is no opportunity to rehearse.

Now if this were a traditional pageant I could easily sweep Evening Gown. Talent with a little creative effort can be at the very least entertaining. Swimsuit is hopeless. Congeniality, who cares. This morning will be my first brainstorming conference call about this so we'll see what happens.