Yesterday I delivered the eulogy at my mother’s funeral service. It was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my nearly 60 years of life. Exactly one year ago to the day, we buried my father. Neither died suddenly. Each one took an extraordinary amount of caregiving and I’m relieved they no longer struggle with the difficulties of aging. I need to write about what the last two years have been like so a few more posts to come. Today, however, my heart aches. Grief is a fuckin’ bitch even though my therapist tells me the tears are just my heart healing itself.
Hug the people you love and tell them how important they are to you. Spend time with them, it’s the most precious thing there is.
1 comment:
I'm so sorry.
There really aren't words, especially now. I didn't write anything online when my mother died, I'm not a good enough writer to do Mum justice. As for you, it's supposed to be unbearable now, it's a reflection of how you felt about her. You'll never stop feeling that way, you'll just get more used to it. When I was at my best friend's funeral & we'd just buried her & I was unconsolable, I asked my mother how will I handle this. She said to me, "You've got a hole in your heart & you'll learn to live with it."
It's all we can do.
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